m - 12 june 2001
From: Michele
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2001 9:15 AM
Subject: Woah, Nellie! Long letter!
Hi Anne!
Like my colorful background and lettering? Hope all is well with you. I hope Sara gets a job with you. I don’t know about where you work at- but where I work at …. well, I think we could have invented the saying "good work is hard to find!" Two girls just quit, and another one just put her two weeks notice in. Nora is frantically trying to find someone. Get this- she did hire someone last week. Tiffany. I only met her briefly. She worked TWO DAYS, called Nora and said she couldn’t handle it, and quit! Unbelievable! Sure a job is overwhelming at the beginning, but to just give up like that? I was very overwhelmed when I started my job, but the stubborn side of me wouldn’t let anyone have the satisfaction in thinking I couldn’t handle it. Now its like second nature for me.
Is Sara a Christian too? To me it is so important that Danielle has a strong walk with Christ. I don’t want to "pat myself on the back", but my parents and Danielle became Christians because of me. I will always be humbled and honored by that.
That Dilbert cartoon you described to me hits the nail right on the head. When that Jimmy geek would be talking to me I wanted to say to him, "Excuse me, but what makes you think that someone like me think I’d even be remotely be interested in someone like you?" You know, I must have done something really bad in a former life! (LOL)
Let me tell you a little more about Chaz (you know, the older man who I had a crush on?) Well, I met him back in 1993 when I was working at a Laundromat/video store (yes, you can do your laundry and rent movies at the same time!). He was 38 and I was 20. A very naive, not very worldly 20, I might add. He would come in and do his laundry from time to time. Other than the occasional "hi, hon" and "can I have change for a dollar?" Not much was said between us. I didn’t know anything about this guy- I didn’t even know his name. All I knew is that I thought he was gorgeous. A year later was when I started my job at the grocery store (which was right across the street from the laundromat), Chaz would go in my line and smile and say "hi hon." and all that. I could tell by the way he smiled at me that he thought I was pretty. It made me feel good. I still didn’t know his name. I guess I was too shy to ask him. Now I would have been like "so what’s your name?". Then one night He went in my line and really started coming on to me. I was flattered, and scared and offended and hopeful and curious all at the same time. He asked me what my name was. (finally!) I told him and he said, "Well, Michele, you are a very pretty girl." Well, as you can guess I was on cloud nine for the rest of the night! SO I felt confidant enough to ask his name- Chaz. As the months passed, I began to find out more about him (via my co-workers) This is the part where I said he was a man that I shouldn’t have thought of dating comes in- well, for one thing he would go to the bar. A lot. I didn’t know if he had a girlfriend or not,(I later found out that he did) but I just couldn’t imagine him being chaste, you know? In fact, one of my co-workers said, "do you realize what he does with some of the girls down at the bar?" I figured that either he and his girlfriend had an open relationship, or he cheated on her like crazy. But the funny thing is that, even after knowing everything about CHaz, I still thought about us getting together. I know, crazy, right? In the beginning, when I first knew him, it was all about the physical part of it- about how good looking I thought he was. But over time, I don’t know maybe it was God working in me, I began to care about him. I began to pray for him. I guess in a way deep down I was hoping that something romantic would happen, but I truly wanted him to give his heart to Christ. Another thing about Chaz that I’m thankful for: he respected me. He knew I was a "nice girl" and a virgin and he praised that. He never, ever cut me down. I knew I stood out to him. So I really didn’t care if he slept with the entire neighborhood, as long as he treated me with respect, that’s all that mattered. Also, he always told me the truth. When I found out that he had a girlfriend (ironically, her name was Michele too). I decided to ask him and see if he would lie to me. It was perfect timing too. He went in my line one night and said jokingly, "So do you have a hot date after you’re finished with work?" "NO." "Why not? Don’t you have a boyfriend?" "No." "Why not?" "Because I just don’t, that’s why. Do you have a girlfriend?" "Yes." "well, that’s good. I’m happy for you." I have so much more to say about this but I’ll just end it with this: Two years ago we moved. Only about a half hour from where I’m living now, but it was far enough to give me the courage to write to Chaz and tell him that I’ve been praying for him. Looking back, I don’t know if it was an act of bravery, temporary insanity or maybe a little bit of both. I haven’t heard from him since. I still pray for him. I hope with all my heart that I will see him in heaven someday. I know now he isn’t "the one" unless a true miracle happens. I also hope that twenty years from now, he wont remember half the girls’ names that he messed around with, but he will remember me- the one nice girl who treated him like a person and not a sex object.
Boy, did I have a lot to say there! Sorry about that. Once I get on a roll, there’s no stopping me! I’ll probably tell you more about Chaz in future letters- along with all my other futile crushes.
I’m glad you turned Ray down when he asked you out. You go, girl! When are men like this finally going to get it through their thick sculls that women are not their little playthings who come running every time he snaps his fingers? Interesting story, a friend of Danielle’s (Erin) just broke up with her boyfriend. Well, he dumped her. Erin is also a friend of mine and she e-mailed me. She said "I have been thrown away again" (She had been dumped before.). As a Christian, and knowing God’s great love for me- I know that I will never be "thrown away." And even though I have yet to find an earthly husband- Jesus is my heavenly husband and he will never leave me or forsake me. It really saddens me to see how some girls let their whole lives revolve around a man. They’re so scared to be alone- they’d date anyone and do anything just to be with someone. I told God "either I marry my soul mate or I don’t get married. Period." Maybe the longer I wait, the more wonderful my husband is going to be. God knows I will not marry someone just for the sake of being married. It seems that you have high standards for yourself . Keep it up- us strong women of faith have to stick together!
As for Pittsburgh attractions- here are a few from the top of my head- Kennywood amusement park, PNC park, the Frick art museum, the Pittsburgh zoo, the Carnegie museum and Carnegie library, Mellon Arena (formally the Civic arena), Buhl Science Center, Heinz Hall, and Sandcastle water park. There are a lot more, but that’s all I can think of for the moment.
Well, its time for me to say good bye for now (aren’t you relieved?) Until next time, take care and God bless!
Michele
