Chix Chat

From: Michele
Sent: Monday, June 18, 2001 4:46 PM
Subject: from the desk of Mrs Arnold Vosloo (tee-hee)

Hi Anne!
 
Hope you had a good weekend.  Mine was hectic!  Why do people wait until the last possible minute to buy things?  Well, first of all someone called off sick on saturday so it was just me and Wendy on Saturday night.  Nora worked 8-7, God bless her!  She was sick too.  Had really bad cramps.  I know how that feels.  Anyway, of course after she left we got slammed.  Neither one of us had a chance to straighten the Father’s day cards.  When the night was over, they were a mess.  we have a .99 cents Father’s Day cards section.  Anyway, this lady was arguing with Wendy that since there were $2.99 and $3.99 cards in that section, she should be able to buy them for .99 too.  No, dumbass!  Obviously some moron didn’t want those cards and just shoved them in the sale section.  People can be so stupid and inconsiderate sometimes.  It is so difficult for me to have a "Christ-like attitude" all the time.  Jeepers Crow, I think even God thinks "What a dumbass!" about some people
 
I love the song Bye Bye Bye!  I have the cd No Strings Attached.  I just bought it for that song, but the rest of the cd is pretty cool.
 
I have probably over 1,000 cds and tapes!  Chances are, if you mention it, I have it!  I’m pretty diverse when it comes to my tastes in music.  Right now my big thing is Enigma.  If you don’t know, Enigma isn’t a group, its a "project" and Michael Cretu is the mastermind behind it.  I suppose its new age, but its really in a catagory all its own.  I always say that Celtic music is my heart, Christian music is my soul, classic rock is my spirt, 80’s music is my nostolgic side, country music is my fun, playful side, and Enigma is my dark, sensual side.  I even signed the enigmamusic.com guest book.  I think I saved it in my hotmail.  If I did, I’ll forward it to you.
 
Yes, Cantus is a very powerful song.  I rememberd the first time I listened to it.  I began to weep with emotion.  That song truly changed my life in so many ways, the most profound being that it deepened my relationship with God.
 
Yes, Shelly’s still here!  Three whole days! Will she last the week?  Stay tuned …. Nora hired a new girl.  I forgot what her name is.  I think she starts tomorrow.  Lets hope she lasts too!
 
Oh, I think confidence in a man is sexy too!  Not arrogance, mind you, but confidence!  I know whoever my future husband is, he will have the confidence to approach me first.  There is nothing more unsexy that a man who looks at a woman and thinks ‘Oh!  She is so pretty!  I would love to go over there and strike up a conversation with her, but what’s the use?  She probably has a boyfriend.  She probably wouln’t give me the time of day.  She probably … (insert lame excuse here).  I don’t even want to know how many attractive men might of thought that about me.  I don’t want to be depressed!  Of course all the geeks have the confidence to hit on me! (yuck!)
 
Well, since I told you about Chaz and TJ and Bob, I might as well tell you about Harry.  He was the guy I went out with.  One date.  Ok, let me back up here a little bit.  My dad and Harry’s dad are really good friends.  Harry’s parents own this little variety store in our neighborhood. So I met Harry from going into the store.  I thought Harry wasn’t a bad looking guy, but it didn’t go past that.  I knew he had a lot of problems (drugs, a crazy ex-wife, three kids) and I really didn’t want to deal with them.  I would go over there and he would look at me like he was in love with me or something. Uh-Oh!  He was clean by then, but I didn’t know for how long.  So this went on for a few months.  Finally he mentioned to my mom that he would like to ask me out, but he didn’t have a car at the time. (he had his license revoked at the time.  I think it was part of his drug probation).  This was in October and he wouldn’t get his license back until January.  So he mentioned it to me- us going out in January, and I said sure.  I was so excited that finally a man who I was attracted to seemed interested in me.  And Harry was very sweet and easy to talk to.  He assured me that he was clean and he would "never go back" on drugs.  As the days passed, I became more excited and excited.  However, in the midst of my excitement, something just didn’t feel right.  I would go over to the store (Harry worked there) and I could just feel that Harry didn’t want me around.  I tried to talk myself out of it ‘Michele, you’re being silly.  You’re just nervous because you’ve never been in a relationship before’.  I should have trusted my instincts.  Anyway, Harry would constantly mention our impending date but he was acting almost as if it were an obligaiton.  I thought ‘well, if you don’t want to take me out, then why did you ask me in the first place?’  Finally we did go out and while we did have a nice time, it was really nothing to write home about.  He did all the right things (i.e. opening doors for me and paying for everything) but he didn’t want me.  He kissed me good night, but that was it.  He didn’t take my hand or put his arm around my waist or anything.  Sure he respected me, but even a man who respects wants to touch, to kiss … you know.  There’s just this unspoken chemistry between two people who are passionately attracted to each other and that just wasn’t there.  THats another thing I want and need in a man: someone who is confidant in his sexuality.  I want a man to want me with his entire being, but will respect me.  Chaz was like that in a way.  There is absolutly nothing sexual about Harry.  I just cannot imagine him being this wonderful lover.  I’m surprised he has three kids- so I guess he’s must of had sex in his life.  I’m so awful, aren’t I?  There is so much more to this Harry situation, but you get the basic jist of it.  By the way, he did go back on drugs.  So I should be grateful that it didn’t go past that first date.  Looking back, all I can say is "What was I thinking?"
 
Anne, if you don’t want to tell me your first name, thats perfectly all right with me.  I respect your wishes.  But I just wanted to let you know that I PROMISE I wouldn’t make fun of you if you did tell me.  I know your name starts with *, right?  Is is *****?  you don’t have to tell me! 
 
Its so uncanny how you say that Sara likes to stay at home.  I’m like that.  I’m a homebody.  I know I should go out more often, but sometimes I feel like people won’t accept me.  I suffered from really bad anxiety attacks when I was in my late teens and while I don’t anymore, I still get uneasy at times.  I get so angry at myself because I don’t want to "miss out" on life and yet I’m constantly afraid to do things!  I’ve come a long way since that time in my life, but I’m not yet at a place in my life where I truly want to be.
 
Glad you liked the Arnold Vosloo postcards.  He is so f*$^ing beautiful!  Now when I see Harry I want to say to him (as I look him up and down) "No, you aint no Arnold Vosloo!)  By the way its pronounced Vos-lew.  I didn’t know that until very recently.
 
Well, thats it for now.  See ya soon!  Take care and God bless!
 
Michele