m - 19 june 2001
From: Michele
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2001 11:09 PM
Subject: I like your website 
Hi Anne!
I went onto your website today. I checked it out before, but not extensively. I stayed and browsed for awhile. I read your "service" page. Good lord, the crap you had to put up with! I think my "favorite" story is the one where that party of 14 tipped you $1! Inconsiderate ogres! I know how the cashier/waitress feels so when I’m the customer, I am always friendly to the person waiting on me and if I eat out, I always tip generously! I liked the links page. THe comics were my favorite. My current favorite comic is Foxtrot. I have several Foxtrot books. It just cracks me up! I thought it was so cool that you met Steven Curtis Chapman! I saw him in concert a few years back. At one point he was talking about his wife and kids and the love he has for them and I thought "God, where is a man like that for me?" A man whose priorities are straight- God first, then wife, then children, then rest of family, then job, then hobbies or what have you. And I don’t mean a "crazy christian". You know, those kind of people who stand on the streets and spout the Bible and who don’t do anything for themselves. I’m talking about attractive, Michael W Smith, Steven Curtis Chapman, Carman type Christians. Ok, I know I’m rambling on here so I’ll shut up!
Yes, Shelly’s still here! Three days! Whoo-hoo! The new girl started today. Carla. She seems really nice and she caught on quick. A good sign. Nora also hired another girl- Shawn. she starts tomorrow. Hope she works out too.
No you didn’t tell me your ex (Ray, right?) moved back in with his ex-wife. Was this before or after he called the last time? What nerve. Oh sure nothing is going on. Total b.s. How old is Ray? What about his kids? I know you said that No Kids and never been married are on your high priority list, but don’t keep your mind closed to those options. You might meet a wonderful Christian man who just happens to be a single father and he and his children will grow to love you dearly and vice versa. Don’t let one bad situation scare you from what might be Gods plan. Chell was right at the fact you should have broken the relationship sooner. The longer you wait, the more difficult letting go is. I’m glad you didn’t have sex with Ray- it would have made the situation much more complicated! I mean, I felt like dirt after the whole Harry situation and here we didn’t even do anything! Could you imagine how much more crappy I would have felt if I would have slept with him? Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it. Believe me, that possibly could not have happened when we went out. I am no way a "seducer" and as I said before, Harry isn’t a sexual person. The more comfortable a man is with his sexuality, the more I am. NOt that I’ll have sex! Take Chaz. Sometimes when he would come in the store, he would go up to me and put his arm around my shoulder and play with my hair. I liked it! IT was easy for me to flirt with him. I didn’t feel stupid doing it. I felt safe because I knew he thought I was pretty. He even kissed me on the cheek one time! (its a long story!) In a perfect world, Chaz would have been a Christian and he would have wanted me and only me. In a perfect world, Harry wouldn’t have had so many problems and he would have desired me and only me. I guess I want someone who’s kinda in between. A man who respects and is God fearing like Harry and who desires me and is comfortable with his sexuality the way Chaz is.
Speaking of which … I’ve often wondered, could you be a sexual Christian? Or better yet, a sexual virgin? When I worked at the grocery store I would sometimes say these wicked comments and the one girl I worked with would always act so shocked and offended, meanwhile she was going out and doing the exact things I was talking about! I’m a virgin, I’m proud of being a virgin, and yet I don’t want people to think I’m this sweet and innocent angel. "Oh, poor Michele. She’d probably die if she saw a man naked." I just bet! The only reason I would "die" is the fact I would need help from God and all His angels to keep me from putting that naked man to use! (could you imagine ARNOLD VOSLOO!? Drool). The whole issue of sex confuses me, I mean part of me is scared to death of it, and yet the other part of me is fascinated by it. I ‘m hoping my fear is Gods way of protecting me and when I finally do get married, it will be so right I won’t even think about being scared. I’d appreciate any advice you may have about this.
I don’t go partying either. I mean, what’s the point? I remember when I was in high school and on Mondays my classmates would be talking about their wild weekend parties. Who got drunk, who slept with who …. whatever. I just thought everyone sounded like idiots. You’re absolutely right that bars are meat markets. Very rarely do you meet a man with potential in a bar. My cousin is a rare exception. She went to a bar once with friends (she usually didn’t) and she met her husband there (he just happened to be there with his friends). They’ve been married for over ten years. But like I said, that’s a rare exception.
Anne, I know this might be hard to believe, sometimes I find it hard to believe but our soul mates are out there somewhere! We just have to trust in GOd’s perfect timing!
On that positive note, I’ll say bye for now!
Michele
