m - 23 june 2001
From: Michele
Sent: Saturday, June 23, 2001 12:22 PM
Subject: We should write a relationship book!
Hi Anne!
Hope you had a better day than I did. Well, first of all, I woke up with this terrible backache. I was hobbling around the house all morning like THe Grinch! I almost called off work, but I didn’t. It felt a little better after I used the heating pad on it and by the time I went to work, it was feeling almost back to normal. I don’t know what the heck I did to it. My back will go out like that sometimes. It feels much better now, thank God! Also, we were pretty busy tonight and people were just getting on my nerves royally. So what else is new?
I like Amazon.com a lot. I’ve ordered some Enigma cd singles, a couple celtic cds and a couple Foxtrot books so far from it, and I’ve gotten everything within a few weeks. Oh! I also got The Mummy Returns cd. I have one item on back order- THe X-Files episode guide for season seven. What I really like about amazon.com is that they don’t deduct from your checking account (I use a debit card) until they actually ship your items. I find it to be a very reliable service.
I didn’t know Mandy Moore was a virgin. Cool. OTher virgins- Brittany Spears, Justin TImberlake, Jessica Simpson, Toni Braxton (she actually took a vow of secondary virginity until she got married), Leelee Sobieski, Anna Kournikova (tennis player), Jonathan Jackson (actor, "The Deep End Of THe Ocean") AC Green (LA Lakers), Amanda Penix (Miss Oklahoma, USA) Kirk Cameron (before he married Chelsa Noble), Brett Butler (LA Dodgers), Kimberly Gloudemans (Miss California teen USA 1997) and Lakita Garth (Miss Black California)- and I’m sure there are plenty more. So you see, there are plenty of attractive, desirable people out there who want to save themselves! It makes me feel good to know that I’m not the only one, you know? Also, lets not forget all the contemporary Christian singers. There is a quote that says, "Modesty is proof that morality is sexy." I think that’s so true. I mean what’s sexy? An air of quiet mystery, of a subtle glance, of protecting your womanhood., of loving yourself more than a man’s empty promises. I mean, after you sleep with someone (before you’re married) what else is there? I feel sorry for people who sleep around, hoping to fill some kind of void in their lives. Sexual attraction is a powerful thing, but I want to be the one in control. I know I’m babbling here, so I’ll shut up!
No, Kristen and I aren’t close. She and Keith live in New Jersey, and I haven’t seen them since they got married. I know about her business trips because my aunt tells my mom. I forgot to tell you another factor in this equation. Kristen drinks. So picture it- A beautiful, built woman, hundred, sometimes even thousand miles away from her husband, sitting at a bar with her work friends, after a few cocktails (or whatever) a handsome man comes up to her and starts putting the moves on her. I can see trouble a mile away. I really don’t think Keith is Kristen’s soul mate. I think Kristen was so scared that she would end up alone she probably thought ‘I might as well get married now because who knows when I’ll get another chance.’ The few times I did see them together before they got married, I don’t think they treated each other very nicely. There just wasn’t that respect there or deep love. They don’t want any kids right now, which is good in a way. It be terrible to bring a child into the world, only to divorce a few years later.
I saw an Oprah show once with Dr Phil McGraw. I really like him. He gives great advice. Anyway, it was about marriage and 5 questions you need to ask yourself before you get married. They are 1) Why are you getting married? 2) Do you trust your partner’s personal history? 3) Are you planning a wedding and not a marriage (you mentioned that one) 4) Are you investing more than you can afford to lose? and 5) Have you identified and communicated your needs and expectations? I think the decision to marry someone is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life and I think its a very serious subject. Too bad the majority of society treats it like its a big joke.
Oh, it doesn’t surprise me about what your married friend said. Of course you’re still going to be attracted to other people even after you’re married. That’s why I said marriage is serious business. To make the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone does mean "forsaking all others", even if someone comes along who you’re powerfully attracted to. That’s why you don’t put yourself in situations where you can be tempted (look at Kristen and Keith). I look at it this way- EVERYONE has the potential to cheat. I don’t care if you are a Christian or not. Everyone has a breaking point. Take me for example. I’m "married" to Mitch Pileggi. Well, for some reason I’m alone somewhere with Arnold Vosloo and he starts kissing my neck and whispering sweet nothings in that sexy South African accent of his …. well, it would be pretty difficult to push him away! So I wouldn’t put myself in a situation where I could be alone with an "AV". Anyone who says "Oh, I completely trust my husband (or wife)" is fooling themselves. If my husband is going off every five minutes on "business trips" with his petite blonde secretary- oh sure I trust him! NOT! On the other hand if my husband thinks I could be locked in a room with an "AV" and not eventually take a bite of the forbidden fruit, he could be wrong. Just because someone is a Christian, it doesn’t mean they don’t have desires.
Do I sound pessimistic? I’m just trying to be realistic. I mean, so many people have affairs and I think this is the reason why- they let their guards down. They think they can overcome temptation. Remember that saying, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." ITs like being on a diet. If you want to lose weight, it would be stupid of you to keep potato chips and candy bars in your cupboard. Of course you’re going to want it, and eventually you’re most likely going to eat it. I mean, you can try to rely on sheer willpower alone, but wouldn’t it be better if that junk food wasn’t there in the first place? So it goes back to what i said before- don’t put yourself in a situation where you’ll be alone with someone you’re attracted to. And don’t think God is going to help you out either. "Well, God, here I am alone with Arnold Vosloo and he just happens to be kissing me and seducing me and all that. Not to mention the fact that he’s only wearing that little sarong thing that he wore in The Mummy! Now its up to you to get me out of this situation." Believe me, at that point God will seem like a million miles away!
I think I’ve rambled on here enough! I just feel really comfortable speaking my mind with you. Its sad to think we probably know more about relationships than most people who are in one! Oh- here are my answers that you added to "All about Moi" and I also added a few more quesitons:
Worst Job- probably the job at the grocery store. HOw I lasted there for five years, Ill never know!
second job choice- owner of a little book shop in New England.
States Visited- Ohio, New York, New Jersey, Massachauttes, Maine, New Hampshire, Conniecut, West Virginia, Virginia, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida.
favorite actors- Mel Gibson, Anthony Hopkins, Tom Hanks, Harrison Ford
favorite actresses- Meryl Streep, Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Minnie Driver
last movie seen on tv- The new version of The Shining
last cd listened to- The Visit (Loreena Mckennitt)
book I plan to read next- The Mummy Returns (even has a pic of my man on the front cover!)
why fall is my favorite season- same answeres as you gave- cooler temps, new television season, changing leaves, upcoming holidays.
fave colgone for men- Prefeffed Stock. Also Chaz always wore this certain colgone. Don’t know what it was, but he always smelled wonderful.
recurring dreams? - When I was younger I had a recurring dream that I was giving birth. I always had a boy and my husband was always with me. I never saw him though. He always stood behind me and held my hand. He must have been my husband because we were both wearing wedding rings. I also have a recurring dream that I’m in the lobby of this really nice hotel. Its a place I’ve never been before.
what I miss about being a child- no responsibilites, feeling safe and secure with Mom and Dad, being able to do things without feeling stupid and self-concious. The smallest things excited me (well, they still do now). Everything was "magical" and wonderous. Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy …
what I like about being a grown up- I can do whatever I want, I’m at an age where I make my own choices and I can persue my dreams and ambitions. I really don’t have to answer to anyone. I’m way beyond the dreaded "high school years". Independence.
New questions
favorite magazine(s)- Mode, Readers Digest, Womens World
coke or pepsi?- Pepsi
favorite 80’s song(s)- Broken Wings (Mr Mister) Dead or Alive (Bon Jovi) Don’t Dream Its Over (Crowded House)
what was your graduation song? Its So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday (Boys 2 Men)
If your car radio or walkman or stereo is set for 5 stations, what are they? 1) 96.9 WRRK Classic Rock 2)107.9 WDSY Country, 3)104.7 disco/dance music 4)100.7 variety of 80’s & 90’s music 5)92.9 WLTJ- Light Music from the 70’s-2000’s.
music you hate- gangster rap, anything Marylin Manson (puke), headbanging, heavy metal music.
do you smoke? No
first crush on real life person- TJ when I was 15
very first cassette tape- Cyndi Lauper- She’s So Unusual
do you still keep in touch with your high school friends? no
pets you’ve had and have- 4 goldfish (Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe), 2 hamsters (Benji and Teddy Bear) and 2 cats (Mr. T and currently Olivia)
Thats all i can think of right now. If you think of any more questions- please add them!
Later, Gator!
Michele
