Chix Chat

From: Michele
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2001 10:41 PM
Subject: CLD (crappy, lonely day!)

Hi Anne!

That’s a bummer that your class starts on Wednesday- it seems like you didn’t even get a break!  My weekend was good, well except for when I was in that crappy mood.  Then last night I got really lonely.  It wasn’t just loneliness- I just felt that I just wasn’t where I wanted to be at this point in my life.  My self worth was really low.  So I wrote page after page in my prayer journal, asking God to help me trust him.  I did feel a lot better when I was finished.  Ok, I figured I’m entitled to a CLD (crappy, lonely day) every once in awhile.  It be unrealistic to think that a person could be happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Did I mention that I’m going to see Alabama and Yankee Grey on September 8?  That should be a lot of fun.  My friend Kristin saw N’ Sync on Saturday.  She said they put on a really good concert.  I can imagine.  They were on The Today Show this morning.  I gave my neighbors a wake up call when I blasted my television to almost full blast!  I’m sorry, but a song like Bye Bye Bye has to be played loud!

Also, I got a response back from the book agency and … I’ve been rejected!  Yay!  Why am I happy about it, you may ask?  I’m happy because I know they read it and considered it and that I’ve taken the plunge and I can’t go back.  Do I feel discouraged?  Heck no!  I’ll just send it to the next publisher on my list and I’ll keep on doing that until someone says yes!  I almost expected it to be turned down.  I mean, nobody gets something published on their first try.

I can’t believe you have to be on jury duty again!  That totally sucks!  Hey, maybe you’ll see that cute cop with the handcuffs again ("Oh, officer, arrest me.  I’ve been such a naughty girl!  Why don’t you handcuff me to that bedpost over there!")  I could go on and on about this!

That’s good that you can work around your school schedule.  That’s one of the good things about where I work at.  Any time I need a day off,  I usually get it.  Nora’s pretty flexible that way.  ***** was pretty much that way too.

I really do hope Sara gets a job somewhere else.  Thank God I wasn’t suspended after the money was stolen, because if I was, I wouldn’t come back.  I’d be like "If you think I took that money, you all can just kiss my ass and I can just as easily find another job that will pay the same as I get paid here!"  And the song "Kiss This" would be playing in the background! I thought you mentioned once that she was going to try to get a job with you at *****.  What happened about that?  How about the grocery store your mom works at?  Couldn’t she find something there?  Just tell her to hang in there- something is bound to come up!

I have to vent another "mom" frustration and I admit I’m partly to blame about this.  Ok, as you know, I don’t have my drivers license.  I don’t know why I’ve waited so long to get it, part procrastination, part fear I guess.  But I really do want to get it!  Anyway, I don’t even like to mention it to my mom because she starts bothering me about it.  "You need to get your license, Michele." she’ll say, and that will really irk me.  I mean, don’t tell me what to do!  And when she says it, it makes me not want to get it, you know?  And then I get mad at myself and think, "why am I letting her push my buttons?"  I guess I’m just so stubborn that I don’t want to admit "you were right."  I mean, I know she’s right.  I know that having a license will be a huge step in my independence and in my adulthood but why can’t I just admit it?  No, I never have those try to scream but no sound comes out dreams.  I have those kind of dreams that I’ll try to run, but my legs move very slowly kind of dreams.

ARRGHH!! This guy came into the store tonight and well, he could enter himself in a Mitch Pileggi look-a-like contest.  Drool!  Growl!  Groan!  He was married, of course!  And so the list of men frustrations continues…  I also think, "If only men could know the real me!"  I mean, I shudder to think how many men perceived me to be this boring, humorless stick in the mud Christian who’d probably faint if she’d hear anything sexual.  But I’m not like that!!  I think I’m a really fun girl!  And just because I have values, that doesn’t mean I can’t have a good time!  I also get very peeved when I think of my older "crushes" who might have thought I was too young for them.  No, hon, I am a woman!  Hear me roar! (ROWL!)

Thank you for keeping my grandma in your prayers, I really appreciate it!

have you checked out that Arnold Vosloo site yet?  It’s pretty cool.  And he’s pretty hot!

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>TV - Alien Nation
>Movie - Look Who’s Talking
>Cd - Phil Collins- The Hits
>
>funny moment- from Wings.  An old buddy of Joe is walking around the airport terminal.  IT is obvious he is looking for someone. He is very good looking.  Helen is watching him intently.  Fay walks over to Helen and says, "Helen, have you noticed that man over there?"  Helen replies, "Notice him?  I’m thinking about what I should get him for our 25th wedding anniversary."
>*******************************************************************
>
> NEW QUESTIONS ANSWERED
>
> Is there a kind of hairspray that you use and/or recommend? I use white rain blossoms or something like that.  Yeah, I recommend it.  IT’s cheap and it works pretty well. 
>
> Have you ever had a pen pal that just stopped writing to you all of a sudden?  Yes!  When I put my ads in the Christian pen pals website and also in a secular pen pal website, I got like 10 responses.  Now only four people (including you) still write to me. I sure hope you won’t just stop writing to me (and vice versa)!
>
> How did you celebrate your high school graduation? I went out to dinner with my grandparents, my parents, Danielle and my aunt and uncle.
>
> Do you often find yourself telling the same stories over and over? I do! However I try to recall if anyone that I’m currently telling has heard it before. If they have, I try to acknowledge that I’ve mentioned it to them before.  (yep, same here!)
>
> ********************************************************************
new questions!

can you only eat breakfast foods during the morning and lunch food at lunch time (etc)?- no.  I can get in a mood for waffles at 11 o’clock at night and I can eat a slice of pizza at eight in the morning! 

do you have a lot of guy friends?- no.  that’s another reason why sometimes I feel like a freak of nature when it comes to the opposite sex.  I mean I have next to zero experience with men.  Not even as friends. (Ok, this is the part where you’re supposed to tell me that there’s nothing wrong with me!)

when was the last time you flew on an airplane?- December 1997 (Disneyworld)

do you like to go clothes shopping?- no!  Finding clothes that fit, the styles I want, the colors I want- it’s just one big headache!

ever spent a night (or nights) at a bed and breakfast?- yes, about ten years ago in a place in Ohio (the name escapes me).  It was a very charming place.

Has anyone asked you flat out if you were a virgin?  HOw did you respond? How did they respond? - yes, people have asked me.  We’d be on the subject of sex though, so it wasn’t like it was out of the blue.  I respond truthfully that I want to wait until I get married.  Most people admire me for it, and frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn if they think any less of me because of it!
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well that’s all for today.  Till next time, take care and God bless!

Michele