Chix Chat

From: Michele
Sent: Thursday, September 06, 2001 2:26 AM
Subject: Bonjour, Mademoiselle!

Hi Anne!

No, Kristen wasn’t fired.  She told me what happened.  Sunday night, she and a guy friend of hers (not her boyfriend) were walking down the street and apparently they were "jumped" by this group of guys her friend didn’t get along with.  Other than a few nasty bruises on her arms, she wasn’t hurt, but they sprayed pepper spray into her friend’s eyes and they beat him up.  Kristen went to the hospital with him and she fell asleep there.  When she woke up it was monday morning.  I want to believe her.  After all, if she was lying, how did she get those bruises?  She is an excellent worker.  Nora let it go this time, but she told her that if it happened again, she’ll have to let her go.

Yes, Arnold is ruining other men for me as well!  Do you know what’s really sad?  If Arnold was just a regular shmoe who lived in my neighboorhood and was unattached, I don’t think I would be so attracted to him.  You know, that whole concept of you want what you can’t have?  Well, I guess I would be attracted to him a litte bit!  I think I like him the most right now, with Mitch Pileggi coming in a very very close second!

I’m glad you have a good attitude about your job.  I’m not worried about losing my job either.  I mean, if worse came to worse and my store closed its doors, I can always go somewhere else.  There’s always a "Help Wanted" sign hanging up somewhere.

Oh my gosh Anne, when you told me how you got angry at your mom and Sara (how they were talking when you were trying to talk)- that’s me!  Are you sure we weren’t twins seperated at birth??  That’s a pet peeve of mine too- people not listening.  I’ll be talking to my mom, and I know she isn’t paying attention to me, so I’ll add something really off the wall like, "And I’m pregnant with Mel Gibson’s baby", to which she’ll reply absentmindly, "that’s nice".  Talk about seeing red!!  Or I’ll be telling her something and then five minutes later she’ll ask me a question pertaining to what I just said.  Im like, "Mom, I just told you five minutes ago …"  I wonder, why do I even bother?

So, I’m not the only one who gets in that lonely crappy mood?  Who doubts God sometimes?  What a relief!  And you go to a singles group too!  Why isn’t God helping us out?!  I saw something on tv about a woman’s biological clock and how the mid twenties to early thirties is just the right age for a woman to have a baby.  Well, I’m not going to try to have a baby as soon as I get married.  I want to enjoy a few years with my husband.  So what if I don’t get married until I’m  31 or 32.  I might not have my first baby until I’m maybe 35 or 36.  I wanted to scream at the tv- "It’s not my fault I haven’t found anyone yet!  It’s not my fault that men today are wimps and I have values and I won’t just date anyone!"  And then sometimes I think the most awful thought.  A thought so horrible I cringe when I think about it.  What if?  What if it is in God’s plan for me to never marry?  I mean, there is no law anywhere that says I have to.  There’s no verse in the Bible that says, "Every person will get married."  How can I handle that?  Does God really expect me to be a virgin for the rest of my life?  I mean, hello, God?  I am a woman!  I have desires and needs!  Being 28 and a virgin is difficult enough, but to think of being 35 …38…40 and never having sex?  I don’t know if I can do it!  I just don’t know what to do!  And the fact that Danielle is dating someone right now doesn’t make it any easier.  I look at her and think "Why her and not me?"  I mean, I’m so ready to get married.  Settle down.  live in a cute little house and be the doting housewife and someday have kids.  Danielle is the total opposite of me. She’s more business minded.  Her goals are more carrear  minded.  I know God doesn’t make mistakes, but I almost feel as if my prayer requests and Danielle’s prayer requests have been swaped and God is answering my prayers, but he’s giving them to Danielle!

I’m sorry for moping.  I know there is more to life than dating and romance and all that, so why does it seem like there isn’t?  And while I’ve been so selfishly thinking about me, me, me, Nora told me yesterday that she’s going to have to be operated on again.  I feel so bad for her!  Anne, if you get a chance, could you keep her in your prayers?  I just wish she could just get better!  Nora is such a nice person.  it isn’t fair that someone like her has to suffer at all!

One more thing about romance and all that- it seems that you are involved in the Church more than I am.  Is there anyone you can talk to?  Ask about what they think about dating services and how people like you and I are ever going to meet anyone?  I don’t even mind if you mention me.  I would love to ask someone, but I don’t know who I could talk to.  I don’t think I could talk to anyone in my family because their attitude would be, "sure join a dating service" or" if you see someone you like, don’t wait for him to make the first move."  They just don’t understand.  I want it to be like it is in the movies.  Some enchanted evening … across a crowded room.  Our eyes lock and it’s like … magic. We just know that we are to spend the rest of our lives together. Is that even possible?  Do I even bother to hope?