a - 10 october 2001
From: "Anne"
Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2001 15:46:46 -0500
Subject: Curiouser and curiouser
Hi, Michele!
I’ll say it again: no need to apologize for a short letter!
Yep, Rod Stewart. (Insert high-pitched fan scream here.) They said tickets were still available, but probably in the nose-bleed section. I don’t know how much the tickets were. I’d guess about $50.
Ah, yes: Crocodile Dundee, part 3(?) - that Antany is still sending me short notes at Cross Daily asking me to write him at his other email. And have my activity rating at CD go down? I don’t think so. I was chatting with some guy a week or two ago, Peter-john is his name. He is 39 and also from Australia. He seems like a lot of fun - we have been emailing back a forth a bit. Some other guy from the US (Georgia, I think) sends me one long paragraph; oddly enough that guy’s name is Randy. (Randy sent me one today titled "Thinking of you" - I haven’t even responded to the one he sent on Tuesday.) Of course none of these guys has posted a picture with his profile. Basically, there are no good dating prospects, but I’m meeting some nice on-line friends.
Speaking of dating, I had a really weird but good dream last night. Chris Holland, a guy I went to school with, showed up at my house and suddenly wanted to date me. I haven’t seen him or even thought of him for years. It was so strange; in the dream he was everywhere I was. We were sitting in the den and my mom came home and I was trying to introduce him… it was so weird. Let me describe Chris for you: he is tall and manly looking, blond haired with blue eyes. And in school he was so fun; really a cut-up. He was one of the A-list people in our small high school; you know, Mr. Popular who played basketball and dated cute girls. In the same dream I received back a second test paper with a score of 19, or possibly a negative 1.9, and all my professor could say was, "Yep, this is a tough subject."
Which brings me to another tough subject: Danielle and Brian. I bet that if the two of you were talking about someone else in her situation, she would absolutely agree with you that the couple should date a year at least before getting engaged. For something as important as this I do *not* think that you should paste on a fake smile and nod at whatever she says. However, from my experience I can tell you that shouting, "You’re ruining your life!" is not the most effective route to take. (You have seen this as well, I’m sure.) I know when I’m trying to convince Sara of something, I try to approach the subject very casually at an opportune moment, that is when we haven’t just been arguing about it. For example, if she was in Danielle’s place, I might casually and non-accusingly say something like, "I know if *I* was thinking of getting married, I’d want to be sure that the guy was the one. Remember (insert divorced couple that you know well here)? They were so in love and then suddenly they weren’t. I don’t think I could stand the pain of divorce." Okay, maybe that looks a little staged; I see your point that it’s tough to know exactly what to say! Of course I wouldn’t say it like some drama queen; I’d simply state it as I would most of the things I say. My objective would be to get *her* to really think for herself about whatever point I was trying to make. I think the key things to remember are to not have an accusing tone and to let her know that your primary concern is that she doesn’t get hurt.
I think of the sincere yet earnest way Chell asked me "Why are you wasting your time?" True, that is a bit accusing, but she didn’t say it in an exasperated "oh what is your problem?!" tone. She said it in a way that implied I should give an answer … it’s tough to describe. It was even tougher to realize that I didn’t have an answer. (If you think about it, there is no good answer to that particular question.)
About this Brian thing: that’s another toughie for me since I’m not there. (I say that like I’d know more if I were there: yeah right!) Maybe the best thing to do about that is to keep an eye peeled to see if you spot any other behavior that supports your fears. You could also listen to what Danielle says to see if you hear her mention the same.
I’m curious: has Danielle ever considered marrying anyone before? And did you say that Brian was divorced? (I tried to look that up in our previous emails, but I didn’t see it.)
That’s it for today. Talk to you soon: God bless!
Anne
God bless the USA!
