Chix Chat

Before I begin, could you stop what you’re doing right now and please say a prayer that Nora will act okay with me today?  I have to go into work at 1 and I don’t know how she is going to act with me.  I know I’m in the right, still I can’t help from worrying!

I’m still trying to understand what happened.  Do you know what really makes me upset and angry?  She must have some kind of sick twisted power trip doing that to me.  You know those kind of people who let other people push them around so they get thier power by pushing around people who are weaker than them?  That’s Nora.  God, I feel so terrible writing this, but I’m just so hurt and angry.  That would be like you e-mailing me and saying "I don’t want to be your friend anymore.  You’re a jerk, Michele."  Or if I said something like that to you.  You would probably be flabbergasted, hurt and angry.  Well, that’s how I feel.  I know one thing, if Nora brings it up again, this time I will defend myself.  What’s the worst that can happen?  I lose my job?  Well, big deal!  I’m sure God doesn’t want me to take any kind of abuse from anyone!

I know my time there is limited.  Not even because of that.  I’ve been toying with the idea of leaving for several months now.  Lets just say that I’m overworked and underpaid.  About trying to get a job at the bank, do you know anyone who’s ever worked at one?  If you do, do you know exactly what being a teller entails?  I just would like some info because as you know, "knowing is half the battle."  I have a plan.  To make it look like I’m leaving on good terms, so it doesn’t look like I was "driven" out.  I want to get back on Nora’s good graces, and make her see that I’m one of the best employess she’s ever had!  And then I’ll quit.  I’m serious!  I need to move on.  I was stuck at ***** for five years because I was so afraid to move on.  I’m not going to make the same mistake at *****.

When I was thinking of Imhotep making all hell break loose, I was thinking of him in his oh-so-sexy human form.  Sure, it’s not as scary as his decayed, decrepit form, but it’s a bonus treat for me.  I imagine him lifting his hand and Nora rising to the ceiling, freaking out and he demands, "Now, apologize to Michele"  Nora chokes out "I’m sorry Michele!  I didn’t know what I was saying!  You are the best employee this store has ever had."  I smile wickedly and say, "And you’re going to give me a ten dollar raise, right?"  "Y…yes, ten dollars!" "And give me every other weekend off, right?"  Nora pauses but when she meets Imhotep’s evil glare she nodds and says "Yes, you can have every other weekend off!"  With that, Imhotep lowers his arm and Nora crashes to the ground, panting and crying.  Imhotep turns to me and we kiss passionately.  I turn to Nora and sweetly say, "I’m taking the day off.  Of course I’ll get paid for it."  Imhotep and I walk out to find a place to be alone and ….. well, what would you do if you were alone with Imhotep? (wicked grin)

Am I such a terrible person to be thinking such things?  I mean, here I am a Christian.  I’m supposed to be loving and kind and forgiving but I can’t help but think these little "revenge" fantasies when I think about the people who have hurt me, Nora being the most recent.  I’m truly hoping that tomorrow Nora will apologize saying that she was too hard on me.  I’m not holding my breath, though.  And besides, the damage is already done.

I started crying tonight and I wrote in my prayer journal and I also wrote in my journal to my future husband, I just kept on writing over and over "Where are you?  I really need you right now!  Pray for me!  I’m going through such a tough time right now!"

I haven’t told my parents about this.  I don’t know why but I haven’t.  I don’t think they need to know.  I know they would most likely (especially my mom) want to march right over to the store and give Nora what for and I don’t need that.  I need to fight my own battles. However if my boyfriend or husband came to my defense, that would be a different story all together!

Thank God about how you act around the guys you have crushes on.  I thought I was the only one!  Anne, sometimes I feel like such a freak for my lack of expirence with the opposite sex!  I mean, in my fantasies I’m this great expirenced lover, but In real life I’m this stuttering, bulshing idiot!  You know how unnatural it is for twelve year olds to go out and get pregnant?  Well sometimes I feel that being twenty eight and never been kissed is just as unatural.  These are times when I really need my future husband’s prayers.  I need to know that saving everything I have for one man isn’t just a waste of time!

Danielle and I saw the movie Riding In Cars With Boys tonight.  It was pretty good.  I tried to concentrate on the movie but I just have so much on my mind right now (gee, can you guess what?) I was only half interested.  Thank God we werein a dark, nearly empty theatre because I started crying, as quietly as I could, so as to not to draw attention to myself.  Damn her for doing this to me!  And Damn me for letting her get to me!

Parisian sounds like our Kaufmanns and Lazuraus department stores.  I haven’t been in a store like that for awhile.  I usually go to the cheapo places or order my clothes by mail.  I really like BLAIR because their medium sizes are 12-14 which is perfect for me.  Usually the size is 10-12, which is too small or 14-16 which is too big!  I feel like Goldilocks trying out the Three Bears beds before finding the one that’s "just right!"

Well, on that note I’ll say goodbye for now.  Til next time, take care and God bless!  God bless the USA!

PRAY FOR ME!!

Michele